Stampamemory Challenge - October 2011 - Fears

The Design Team from Stampamemory are you challenging you again this month.  October's challenge is to produce a layout highlighting your fears.

Being on the DT means you see this list way ahead of time so I had plenty of opportunity to wonder how I would deal with this.  I've wanted to document my fear for a long time; but I didn't want to include any pictures - this was about the fear, not the thing itself - and if you have the same fear, there are no pictures so you can read on :o)

I wanted to create a 'raw' feeling to my layout, so I've used the lovely new Well Worn DSP pack.  The flower was created by tearing circles of paper, squishing them up, attacking them with a sanding block and then I attached them all together with a now retired eyelet.

 (Don't strain your eyes .... I've added the journalling to the end of  this post).

The layout itself was quick to create, the papers do all the work I think.  the writing took ages but I am really pleased I have documented this important event.

Stampamemory are challenging you to document your fears, enter the challenge by uploading your layout here.

If you are interested in Emotional Freedom Training - check out Jenny's website.

Happy scrapbooking!

Nikki

x

And the journalling reads:

All my life I have had a fear of snakes.  My mother has the same fear, my grandmother too.  Growing up in England this didn’t matter that much, moving to Australia changed all of that.

Even the word would send shivers down my spine; I was determined not to pass this fear on to my children (or perhaps I should be honest and say Paul was determined J - I thought I was quite rational really).  After all no-one likes them right!

Billboards, children’s books, furry or plastic toys, Harry Potter movies, Allen’s lollies, photos in magazines that had to be put in the bin outside, reptile houses at the zoo (I stood outside and waited for the family – not understanding the fascination).  Animal encounter days at school made me want to scrub the kids clean if they told me they had touched one. I know completely irrational.

Arriving in Australia heightened this phobia, now there was a real chance of actually seeing one, what would I do?  I used to scour the garden beds from the kitchen window before venturing out into the garden.  I wouldn’t dare to open news articles incase they included a picture and as for Steve Urwin (the children were fascinated by him), well I thought he was just weird!

Then one day I saw a baby Dugite in Port Kennedy, WA.  We were out riding our bikes, me gripping the handlebars so tight my knuckles were white as we rode on a bike path through the sand dunes – Paul was ahead with Olivia, KP a little bit behind them. And there it was, KP had gotten off his bike and was screaming, I could do nothing, I couldn’t scream or run to help him – I froze to the spot.  We went home immediately and I had a panic attack – it took me ages to calm down. I was so scared; I couldn’t believe I couldn’t help my kids. 

It sounds dramatic but my fear really was taking over my life.

Fast forward a year or so and we move back to Melbourne.  

I wanted to seek some help but my biggest hurdle was how would they know I was cured?  Would they test me before I left? I couldn’t bring myself to look for help; everywhere I looked had pictures of snakes. 

One day my friend Tracy offers to help.  She tells me her sister-in-law can hypnotize me.  She makes the appointment, doesn’t listen to my excuses why I can’t go, comes to collect me. She says she will be with me the whole time, I’m not happy but I do trust my friend.

On the way Tracy tells me about Emotional Freedom Techniques – talk about weird.  I’m sat there thinking I just want to ‘put to sleep’ and wake up cured!  As I sat there wondering what have I let myself in for, she must have been feeling the same!

Jenny was amazing.  EFT is amazing.  Within a couple of hours I could hold a picture of a snake, pick up and eat an Allen’s snake lolly without feeling it was going to reform in my tummy, and I finally left with a new toy, a plastic snake.  It wasn’t a walk in the park; it took over two hours, most of spent in tears, tapping various parts of my body. But it really did only take two hours to ‘cure’ me.

When Tracy took me home with the toy snake in my hand Paul nearly passed out.  Visiting the reptile house at Melbourne zoo with the Petries freaked him out too.  He had hold of my hand so tightly in case I ran screaming in fright (yes I had done that in the past in – and that was just toy snakes in shops – very embarrassing).

Now I can live without worrying, yes I am wary, yes I ‘tap’ when I feel the level of fear in my tummy start to rise, but it soon puts it to rest.  Several years later I still ‘test’ the therapy, every zoo we visit always includes the reptile house, I am fascinated by the way a snake moves. I still freak my Paul out, he still holds onto my hand for dear life!

Do I love them?  NO.  Do I want to own one?  No.  Do I want to find one in my back garden? NO.  Do I even like them?  Nope!

But what I do know is that if I was faced with my worst fear, I could deal with it. I’d be tapping my cheek like a mad woman, but I could rescue the children.  I could still be in control of the situation.  And best of all, the children are not afraid.

Mission accomplished!